Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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