I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Barsexuality is the new black.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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