She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize