this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
