If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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