i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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