Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
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I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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