I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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