WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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