The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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