so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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