hotel room ftw
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
