My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize