They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
