I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize