Pappa wants mamma naked
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
