my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
