left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
