3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I don't think brook has ever known best
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
