Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
