True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
