she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
