Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
