it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
