do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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