My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
