I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
