we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
