i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The adults are the big ones right?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
