i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
