What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
