I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
