My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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