This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
