I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
