I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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