So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
