You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
