I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
