Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
