everyone is single if you try hard enough
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
