i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Terrible idea I love it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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