but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
