Don't make out with my wife yet
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
