If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
