what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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