Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Sorry about my life...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
