you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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