dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
