I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Omg I joined a choir last night...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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