Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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