Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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