Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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