I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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