Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
