I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
