think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The air taste purple.
Randomize
