am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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