it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
