I hope mine doesn't look like that
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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