Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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