In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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