I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize