I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
