guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
my poor anus
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
